Halloweeeeeeeen!!!

We defied sickness and hell and decided to celebrate Halloween. H and Lovisa bought a pumpkin and happiness was a fact.

The pumpkin before the massacre...

 The pumpkin after the massacre...

 Roasted pumpkin seeds - delicious!

Now I just need to take care of the pulp... Another day...

Tonsillitis and diarrhea...

I went to the doctor today, feeling a little bit silly thinking I'm exaggerating, I'm not that sick at all. But when she said that the test showed I had bacteria's in the throat and I need to eat antibiotics for 10 days I didn't feel that silly anymore. When I got home they called from the daycare and said that Andréa has diarrhea so we need to pick her up and I just had to cry for a little bit. It feels hopeless when you never, ever get to rest properly. H picked her up after I called him, sobbing on the phone, and now she's playing beside me, happy to be home. We're going to be fine... It just sucks being sick...

Bloody hell!

So it finally hit me, I've been feeling a bit sick for weeks and yesterday I got really sick. I forgot how terrible and hard it is to be really sick, how small you feel and how hard the basic things are, like getting out of bed.... Fever, sore throat, body aching and head pounding. So tired I just want to cry. My best friend is painkillers and tea with honey. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking that I was burning up, for sure my fever has to be hitting the roof... 38,8 degrees! When the girls have that they can still run around, play and be fairly normal. I was on the edge of dying, at least that was how I felt. No, this sick I haven't been for a long time and I hope it's not going to happen for decades after this. There's a reason for grownups not to be this sick to often, we cope much better when our children are this sick because we don't actually remember how awful it is...

Time for another painkiller and some tea...

Keeping the sauna tradition alive!

My father is Finnish descendant. His parents moved from Finland to Sweden after the second world war and after a few years in Sweden my father was born. I wouldn't say that he's traditionally Finnish but one thing that he never, ever would put an end to is the sauna tradition. I was brought up with that, one week old when my grandmother carried me in the sauna for my first bath and I loved it ever since. So did most of my cousins and we had so many nice and fun moments in there... It's something about the cleansing, relaxation and warmth that makes it very special and addictive. That's why I'm so happy and excited that my dad decided to build a floating sauna on his little lake outside his house. We cheer him on and hoping for a real nice sauna bath around Christmas...

Earlier in September, building the raft and launching it...

 Today - putting up the walls...

 Starting to look good!

The first ice on the lake and I wouldn't want to take a bath without a sauna...

Freezing...

It's already winter here in Stockholm. Well, maybe not officially but it sure feels like it. The first snow fell the other day and it's freezing cold. I didn't put the summershoes away yet but it's high time to do it, I'm afraid we have to wait until next year for some warmth...

Instead of running...

A terrible cough refuses to let go and it doesn't take much to trigger it, a laugh, a fast walk and I'm coughing mucous. I've had it since I ran my race for almost 2 weeks ago... I so much want to run, my body aches after sweating and releasing endorfines. But I'm forced to rest, meanwhile I'm comforting myself with this...

To summarize.

To summarize my three day course about lungfunction I think this picture pretty much speaks for itself:

Smoking is surprisingly enough increasing in Sweden and it's mostly young woman that stands for that increase. So very sad. Last year was the first year ever that there were more newly diagnosed cases of lung cancer in woman than men in Sweden. Woman have smaller lungs and they seem to be more fragile and develops cancer faster and easier than men. Did young woman just forget that smoking is deadly? And if you don't get lung cancer from smoking you probably will develop chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and slowly suffocate to death. Inform your children early how dangerous and disgusting it is to smoke, that's what I'm going to do...

Uppsala day 2....

Course!

After a very intense weekend I'm in beautiful Uppsala, attending a 3 day course about lungfunction. Interesting, relaxing and intense but the best thing is yet to come. Tonight I'm staying over at my childhood friends place, we didn't see each other for over 5 years. Carriers, relationships, moves and babies came in the way but tonight its high time for reunion...

A weekend with "mormor"!

It's a rainy and dark weekend here in Stockholm. Lucky us grandmother is here to brighten up our life...

My ex boyfriends children's clothes...

A long time ago I was together with a nice guy from my hometown. We were serious, engaged and planned our future together. But something happened along the way and we split up after a few years. We moved on, he met a nice girl that he married and they have two beautiful children. He stayed in my hometown and we still have common old friends, including my sister. When my sister got her daughter my ex boyfriend gave her his children's old clothes. Now my sister donated some clothes to Andréa that her daughter grown out of. Yes, Andréa is now running around in my ex boyfriends children's clothes. The world is a funny and small place indeed...

Hungry!

I thought I had a delicious food box containing salmon, potatoes, white whine sauce and peas so I was a bit surprised when I opened it and the only thing inside was peas. Now I'm starving and wondering who the hell ate the rest?

50:24!

I admit I'm a little bit disappointed I didn't reach the "magical limit" sub 50 minutes. But I'm very happy I beat my personal best with over 4 minutes! A good achievement. A rainy and cold morning didn't get me in the best mood though, I was cold and did my best to warm up. H was there, helping me to hold jackets, fix my headset to my phone and cheering me on - that really helped!

Warming up, minutes before the start...

The start was crowded but felt good and during the first kilometer I found help from two other runners that had a good pace. I followed them for about 7 km when they stopped to drink some water and I thought, why not, I felt my mouth was dry and I knew I still had a chance to run under 50 minutes. But after that they slowed down a bit and I had to run ahead and I didn't really find my old pace and had to struggle the last kilometers to increase my pace and in the end it wasn't enough... I can't help thinking "what if I didn't stop for that water...". But I'm bloody proud anyway and I ran in as number 291 out of 4872 runners! It's a great feeling...

Wohooooo! I did it!

I got rewarded at home, two tiny toddlers joined me in the bath, climbed on my stomach when I tried to stretch and then finally, a very nice supper with a couple of glasses of red wine. 

Because I'm worth it!

Now I'm so tired I could sleep standing up, but we also have a mountain of laundry that needs attention, the life as a "toddlerparent" is hard but wonderful... As my dad's wife said when they were leaving after almost 24 hours together with out beautiful girls: "now I need to go home and sleep". Yes - me too.

PS If you want a good laugh you can click here, search on my name (my last name "Loiske" is enough) and then click on my name and watch me run in to goal on heavy feet... DS

The best preparation ever!

Yesterday we switched apartments with my dad and his wife. This deal also included two tiny toddlers and a cat so H and me took care of the cat and my dad and his wife the tiny toddlers. A very nice deal if you ask me. I beat H in bowling and then I did my best to charge my body with carbs considering it was the day before my autumn goal.

 H making his bowling moves!

 It was only barely I won... 

Carbs - bacause I need it!

Then we got to dad's place and were greeted by a nice gift.

Did I tell you that my dad and his wife are the best? And they really know what two tired parents appreciate... 

Then we slept, oh my god did we sleep. No pee diaper to be changed, no upset girls to comfort, no early morning games - just... Silence.... Ahhh...

Two healthy toddlers - check!

I took two excited girls to their 18-month and 3-year check up this morning. They thought it was a big adventure, taking the metro to see nurse Anna. Little did Andréa know she was going to get a shot...

Well there everything was perfectly normal, they're following their growth curves and their development is totally normal. I was particularly happy to hear that Lovisa's speaking skills are great and she's way ahead for her age. We always heard that she's probably going to be a bit late since we're exposing her to three languages...  Andréa showed nurse Anna that she can say "kacka" (meaning "shit") and pull down her pants! And she didn't even cry when she got the shot, she was to busy admiring her sister blowing bubbles all over the room.

 18 kg heavy and 105 cm tall 3 year old...

11,9  kg heavy and 86 cm tall 18 month old...

I'm so grateful that I have to perfect daughters to love and worry about...

Ready for winter!

Winter is around the corner and the past week has been a lot about finding warm, comfortable clothes that keeps my girls dry without ruin their mother. That's quite the challenge, oh my god what they charge for kids clothes! And since we all wants what's best for our children a lot of parents pay a fortune for clothes that the children wear only one season. It's shameful. That's why I'm more and more in to buying good quality clothes second hand. I admit a buy a lot of new stuff too, especially for Lovisa since I figure Andréa is going to use those clothes as well.

I found a really nice winter suite for Lovisa here. It was entertaining to buy it because you bid on the second hand item you want. If you happen to be the highest bidder when the time for the auction ends, you're obliged to bye it. It's quite addictive actually...

A proud Lovisa just opened the box containing my winning bid, 

a second hand winter suite in perfect condition, for about 1/3 of the new price!

I also bought fleece-lined rainwear that's apparently perfect for the mild and often wet Swedish winter. Keeps your children warm and dry without making them walk around like stuffed sausages (which is the case when you put their regular rain clothes on, on a cold day since you have to put loads of warm clothes under to keep them warm). I wish someone could write a book, or make a webpage, with basic tips on the best clothes for different seasons so you know what you need to get for your children. I didn't even know lined rainwear existed until the other day when another mother told me that the best thing for Swedish winter is those clothes. And apparently the daycare prefers that too since the children are warm, dry and comfortable in them.

The warm raincoat with fleece on the inside...

Now I just have that tiny problem that Andréa keeps taking her hat and gloves off at daycare. And her little hands just freezes in no time... Glue them on perhaps?!?

"Gurka"!

One of Andreas first words was "gurka" (cucumber). She's totally addicted to cucumber and every time I cook she comes running screaming after "gurkaaaa"! She was in heaven the other day when H did the groceries and came home with two gurkor...

The best start of the day.

Oatmeal with homemade applesauce and a touch of cinnamon makes the dark morning a little bit brighter.

A run in the dark...

Feeling out of shape, weak, tired and slightly sick I've decided to take it easy the few days left before my race. I skipped the usual 11,5 km run from work to the daycare, instead I ran a slow 6 km run in the evening. It's starting to get colder and darker at night but that's not an excuse to skip my training, a new hat, gloves and warmer running clothes are just waiting to be worn out...

Big day for a big girl.

Today was a special day. It was the day when Lovisa stopped using her soother. A brave little girl packed all her soothers in a small bag, brought them with her to the animal park and gave them to the rabbits. Last attempt, this summer, she bailed out in the heat of the moment but this time she didn't.





After she got to choose anything she wanted from the café and then we played in the park. She was very happy and proud.





The whole bedtime procedure was a bit shaky though and her last words before she finally fell asleep were: "I want my soother mum. And I want to ride on the horse." My little big girl...

Boring beautiful weekend.

It never turns out the way you planned it, especially not when you have two tiny toddlers. Today we were suppose to enjoy the beautiful autumn day, the sun has been shining, the sky has been deep blue and the colors amazing. But Lovisa got a fever after breakfast and we got stuck in the apartment. We all feel a bit sick and the day has been a struggle to get through. Lovisa collapsed before lunch and slept almost three hours, that never happens anymore, so she was definitely not herself.

But after the nap she's been pretty energetic and after a supper containing of a big portion of chicken with potatoes and two portions of icecream (we have that rule, if you're sick with a fever, you have almost unlimited access to icecream) she's been impossible to get to sleep. And H and me are just waiting for that, so we can start seeing the first season of "Six feet under" and eat a ridiculously huge amount of icecream ourselves. We finally realized that a good TV-series is exactly what we need instead of falling asleep in front of a movie... Hope it's entertaining, did you see it?

Life is fragile.

It doesn't happen very often but today it did. Things that make you realize that life is precious and fragile. 

Me and the girls were walking home from daycare, I was a bit upset with Lovisa because she did everything else but listen to me (for example I suggested we should be going home, she threw herself on the ground screaming). Anyway, I managed to settle the girls in the stroller and was walking on the small street were the daycare is, when another dad and his two girls passed us slowly in their car. Then a big crash and a big cry. The world stopped for a minute and before I realized what happened it was like the air stood still. The car had hit a little boy that cycled out between two cars that were parked on the street, giving the dad no chance to react in time. 

The car, that had a very low speed, bumped in to his bike and he fell off the bike, hurting his knee. He got very scared and cried but except from his knee, that was bleeding a bit, we couldn't detect any other injuries. He was wearing a helmet, thank god, and I don't think he hit his head when he fell. His older brother were with him and the poor dad tried to find out where they lived. I asked if he wanted help to call an ambulance but the dad decided to take the boy home to his parents (it turned out that he lived very close), so after making sure they didn't need my help I left with the girls. 

Lovisa talked a lot about the little boy, hurting his knee, all evening. At one point she looked at me and said "you could die if you get hit by a car" and I just nodded. I don't think Lovisa really realized the meaning of what she said but she said what I was thinking the whole time but didn't want to say out loud. 

Take care of each other out there!

Less than two weeks left...

...to my autumn goal and I'm struggling to stay in shape. Despite hurting feet, tiredness from hell and rain I did an interval workout tonight, 8 times up and down our way to steep and long hill. Today my bib arrived and it would be really disappointing if I couldn't improve my 10K time from last race...

Our dentist should be proud...

How to exhaust a working mother.

Oh. My. God. I'm. So. Tired.

Bad nights sleep, Andréa coughing and in between that H was snoring. At work a lot of people were sick which means the rest of us had to work harder and more. My patients were hard to examine for different reasons that I can't explain here and a few of them late so I was always stressing to be in time for the next patient.

I ran to daycare, got the kids and noticed that my extra energy boost, that I really need after running over 11 km, was gone! Somebody ate my raisins that I secretly hidden under the stroller for me and the girls to snack on on our way home! I called H and asked him, while walking really fast home and he answered that he thought it was something I forgot in the stroller and he removed it!

After arriving home Andréa did a big poop. I just started cooking and had to put her in the shower, washing her butt while I fried chicken. Great! Then Lovisa seemed to think it was a good idea to bring her potty to the living room (I shouldn't have put the Pippi  DVD on...) to poop there. And after she thought it was an even better idea to put her toy car in the potty inside the pile of shit. OK, bye, bye toy car. There are limits to what I do in the middle of cooking, cleaning a toy car from poop is not and option.

After having supper, giving the girls their bath (Lovisa insisting on wearing her own made necklace in the water), they went mental, ran around the apartment screaming whereupon H was swearing and I was holding my hands over my ears. Then bottle time, reading time and of to bed. Lovisa wanted to poop again. Then she wanted to pee again. Then they finally fell asleep and H sat down in the couch exhaling saying "Oh. My. God.". Sums the day up pretty good I would say.

Goodnight.

Feeling sick...

After a good nights sleep, with just a handfull of awakenings, I managed to work all day. Now I'm sitting on the metro feeling sick. So many people around me stink old cigarettes and since I'm just recovering from some kind of stomach flu I'm sensitive. God I hate cigarettes! Once upon a time I couldn't drink alcohol without smoking these poisonous sticks but now I know better... They shortens your life, helps you develop cancer, lung diseases, heart diseases and stroke. They make you look older, make your fingers yellow and make you stink. I just can't believe that people still smokes like chimneys and what's worse just beside other non-smoking people. Get away from me!