Packing!!

I started this day with a walk in half snow-storm to my mid-wife. Everything seemed good, the baby still has the head down and my mid-wife could move it a bit so the baby isn't completely stuck to my pelvis just yet... Continued the morning with doing some shopping with my 83-year old grandmother. She wanted to buy Lovisa some gifts and bought her way to many of course, she's going to be all spoiled when she arrives! I did some shopping to, bought Lovisa a nice "toto" to give her at the airport...

 Her name is Monique, very cute...

I also bought some last stuff for the "delivery bag" and a really cool blanket for the baby (I mean, the poor thing has to have something that's not inherited). I can't wait to wrap her in it!

The "delivery bag" filled with goodies and the cool baby blanket

They say a delivery is like running a marathon so of course you need some energy during the adventure. I packed 2 coca-colas (sugar and caffeine - good stuff!), 2 "kexchoklad" (the Swedish version of kitkat but more tasty according to me), 2 energy bars and 1 bag of mixed, salted peanuts. Now, I hope the delivery is going to be a bit faster than the last one, then we ate everything except the "kexchoklad" but those we ate after (it takes a lot of energy to breastfeed and also to become a father and watch the mother breastfeed!).

Right now I'm packing to go to Stockholm tomorrow morning and it feels really exciting, one step closer to my family! H is a bit worried that I'm travelling alone and I don't look forward to 3 and a half hours on a bus with my big belly but I know it's going to be all worth it on Saturday - Stockholm here I come!

5 days left!

The week is finally here, when I get to see my loved ones again. I'm so tired, my body feels heavy and I just want to sleep. But to sleep is not so easy anymore. To find a comfortable position is almost impossible and this night the baby kicked so hard I actually heard a cracking sound coming from my ribs. I think it takes a lot of energy just to wait... I'm hoping that everything goes well with the flights with no cancellations or delayed take-offs...

To make this week fly by I'm going to prepare as much as possible for Lovisa and the baby's arrival. Pack the delivery bag, buy diapers, borrow a little bed for Lovisa, a high-chair, a small bathtub and a nursery table. Good thing people around me are helpful and have a lot of baby stuff! On Wednesday I'm travelling to Stockholm to see my dad a few days before H and Lovisa arrives. On Saturday I'm going to be at the airport holding a big teddy bear, waiting for the big moment! To hold my little rascal in my arms, finally.

I'm going to kiss those cheeks on Saturday!

Bare naked truth...

New, fresh belly pictures now that I'm in week 38. It's unbelievable that it's a little baby in there, all ready to come out. It feels like my lungs are small like stamps situated above my boobs. When my intestines makes funny sounds the noise comes from above my belly just under my boobs (and no, my boobs are not hanging down over my belly just yet!). Where does all the organs go? Squeezed together behind/under or over my belly, no wonder it's starting to feel tight in there...

 Week 38

 Carrying 9 extra kilos

Thinking about the little girl inside - who are you?

A salesman in a clothes store asked me when my balloon is going to burst, god I hate comments like that! But it actually feels like if somebody punctured my stomach I would take off...

Granulated sugar and fresh yeast...

Finally! Some real buns!

Oh, I missed fresh yeast and granulated sugar! How can they bake without it (maybe they don't really bake that much in Canada, I have a feeling they mostly buy ready maid dough and add water or bake with baking soda)? 

After a few of these I'm feeling a bit high from fast carbohydrates and I think I just might survive tonights yoga class. See ya!

Counting down...

 According to the baby ticker it's 21 days left before the baby arrives. More importantly it's EXACTLY 12 days left until I get to see Lovisa and H. I miss them so much it aches in my body (or is it all the pregnancy hardships that is starting to make themselves known?).  I thought as time goes by it would be easier, that I would get "used" to it, but it's harder for every hour and every day that I'm separated from them. I'm wondering how long a month is for an 18 month old little girl? It has to be a whole eternity! I want to admire her first poop to!

 My god! It's something in the potty!

Friends tell me to take the opportunity to enjoy this "alone" time and do things that I wont be able to as a mother of 2 little rascals. And I really try to but it's like a part of me always ache for my family. I feel a bit ungrateful that I don't fully enjoy my walks, to watch a movie undisturbed, to read my book for as long as a want, to be able to lie down when ever my sore body feels like resting... 

But I am really grateful to have such a beautiful family to miss! When I start thinking about all the misery in Japan and Libya my whining over being apart from my family for about a month seems like a tiny, small parentheses. 

I miss you

Today my blog's headline really make sense "...the sacrifices we do and the rewards we get from the greatest thing of all - love".

Skype poop, sciatic and to much snow!

It's a special feeling when you see your daughter, on Skype, poop in a potty on the other side of the Atlantic. I would call it a bit surreal. I miss her so much it aches in my body. But today it's "only" 2 weeks until I get to hold her in my arms. Hopefully I'll keep myself busy enough not to "break up" completely... 

This morning it was winter again. After a wonderful week with a lot of sun and melting ice, it looks like spring has been put on hold. Really unnecessary if you ask me. It's really slippery and dangerous to walk since the snow is covering the ice spots so you can't predict were it's safe to put down your feet. 

  

 Morning view from mum's kitchen

I'm trying to make the best of my time hear, and so far it's been really great to see the family, a few relatives, visiting old colleagues and yesterday I went to the local theater for the first time in years! It was really good but bloody hell - my sciatic is terrible! The theater was long and after about 20 minutes my right leg was gone. If you have any advice how to ease sciatic please inform me!

I'm still amazed that last weeks dissertation went well and that it's finally over! I still look at all the nice gifts I got, here is a heart from mum:

 A green/blue heart from mum

Otherwise, I'm trying to rest, eat healthy with a lot of iron, here's a little something for my Canadian readers: blood pudding with lingonberry sauce, I also like to add some bacon - stuffed with iron and really tasty!

Blood pudding - yummie for mummies with a big belly!

Now I'm going to put on my spikes and slide down to the city for a nice coffee with my dear cousin and sister! Have a great weekend!

I'm pregnant!

Oh my god! Time to focus on me and the baby. Almost forgot I was pregnant but now it's high time to start thinking about the delivery, pack the hospital bag, check the little baby clothes.... I had my first mid-wife appointment here in Sweden today and everything seemed good. The most surprising thing once again is that my Hemoglobin level is high enough so I wont have to take iron supplements - 130! Go Canadian steaks! And Swedish "blood pudding"! Yummie!

Pale and pregnant, end of week 36...

My new mid-wife seemed nice, of the "old tribe" using the good old "funnel" to listen to the baby's heart... She asked me if I or Hubert had any preferences about the delivery and it was then I realized how little we've been preparing. We didn't discuss anything! I said something about the importance of an English-speaking mid-wife and that I'm open to all kinds of pain relief if I need it...  I also said I prefer to give birth in an upright position and NOT lying on my back... Eehhh, I couldn't think of anything else to say, maybe I should discuss this with H, or what do you guys think!? 

Tonight I'm looking forward to go to yin-yoga to stretch out my sore joints...

I did it!

After years of struggling and months of hard work with a lot of tears and doubts I took my PhD. I was really nervous before but thought to myself that "it goes the way it goes, I'll do my best and I'm going to stay calm and answer honest". So when everything started I actually felt pretty cool...

Just before 13 AM, focusing on staying calm...

My opponent made an introduction and then I held my presentation, don't remember that much from it but apparently it took 25 minutes according to my sister... Then the interrogation started... I felt like I was in a big bubble and just focused on being there and now. A bloody annoying thing was that my way to expensive "stay-up" pantyhose started to slide down my leg each time I had to stand up or sit down! And my opponent made me get up once in a while to explain and show different things from my presentation. When finally my opponent was satisfied it was  the examination boards turn. I remember one of the questions made my brain freeze and I had no idea how to answer! I just lost it. Any other time I think I would have been able to answer but right there I didn't stand a chance! Phuu, about 2 hours of defending my 4 years of struggle!

My opponent was well prepared. Among a lot of questions he made me do some echocardiographic measurements to check out my skills...

While the examination board made their decision whether to approve or fail me we got a much needed break. I was really touched and moved to see so many of my colleagues and family/relatives there.

Mingle while waiting for the examination boards decision

The examination board declared I was approved and I just felt empty at that point. Finally, finally over! It's a bit surreal. I lived with this thesis for years and the last months been thinking and working with it on a daily basis.  

Home at mums with all the lovely flowers and gifts

One of the beautiful gifts, a colleague from Stockholm that thought I needed this while I wait for Lovisa - so nice!

One of the many beautiful bouquets I got!

I really wished I could have shared this day with my H and Lovisa, they were with me in my heart all day. It's a lot thanks to H I've been able to finish my thesis and I will be forever grateful for that. He's taken care of Lovisa numerous of evenings and weekends and endured my sometimes  unpredictable mood swings and always encouraged me. 

I'm also very thankful for all the encouraging comments and support that I got from family, relatives and friends during the years! Thank you so much!

Keep your fingers crossed!

God I hate statistics! And somehow my opponent suspected this so he was kind enough to send me a statistic question tuesday evening that kept me busy since then. So instead of reading my thesis and rehearsed my presentation in front of the mirror I've been struggling to solve his demands... 

Now I'm nervous and trying to do some last minute studying. Doesn't help me tomorrow I'm pretty sure but I have to do something... 

Keep your fingers crossed tomorrow at 1 pm. Hope I can sleep a few hours tonight. Arrrrhhhhgggg...

Nailing, interviews, preparations and contractions!

Phu! It's intense to only have a few days left to prepare for the dissertation. I slept about 3 hours this night (jet-lag!!!) so I was totally exhausted from the beginning of this eventful day. I walked to the bus this morning wearing my new spikes (the kind that old lady's wear) that mum bought me. No broken bones before the baby comes! When I got to Örebro I had an interview at the hospital and after I had a 7 hour long meeting with my tutor, I actually think he's more nervous than I... At lunch we took a break and I nailed my thesis in front of a whole bunch of old colleagues.  I managed to put a big, fat nail thru a tiny hole and hammer it to the tree. Jihaaa!

Voila! There it is! 

If anyone have a hard time sleeping you can read my thesis, now published on the web:

http://oru.diva-portal.org/smash/record.jsf?pid=diva2:396284

Tomorrow I have another interview with the local paper in Karlskoga, then I'm going to study hard and I'm going to Skype with Lovisa! I can't wait to see her little face. Apparently it's taken about 2 hours to put her to sleep at night since I left... Usually it takes about 10-15 minutes... We miss each other... 

Well, I hope I'm going to sleep a bit better tonight, I'm so exhausted and my stomach has been really hard, like a big contraction, all day long... Stay in there, little one! At least until Friday evening...

Finally in Sweden!!!

After a cancelled flight friday evening, I had to travel saturday at noon through the US, via JFK. There I had to wait 6 hours. So what do you do at JFK to kill time?

Eat a fat burger... Skip the fries though, they're pretty grouse...

 Have a nice "grande" latte...

Instead of 10 min manicure I took 20 min pedicure - so good for sore pregnant feet!

It was with a sigh of relief I left the US, who wants to go into labor there? Landed at good old Arlanda this morning and my wonderful sister picked me up. First thing that happended when I got out of the car in Karlskoga was that I slipped and fell on my bum. Lucky it's still so much snow, I landed soft...

I Skyped with Lovisa and H, they seemed to have survived the night without me, go figure! Miss them already!

Anyway, happy to be settled in at mum's and I hope I'm going to have a good nights sleep, didn't sleep for over 48 hours now...

She peed in the potty!

Just to impress me before I leave! Not even 18 months... H and I applauded and she was really pleased with herself.

 See the little puddle?

My little heart....

Then she fell asleep, totally exhausted. She didn't have a good night and right now H is taking her to the doctor to see so she doesn't have an infection. And I'm suppose to pack my last stuff, but as a very proud mother I just had to let you now the big news!!!

See you in Sweden!

Au revoir mes amours!

Last night in Montreal. My family surprised me with a nice supper, one of my absolute favorites - sushi! And H gave me roses with a card that almost made me cry... 

Bye my darlings!

Poor Lovisa is a bit sick. She did not want to go to sleep tonight. Maybe she feels that I'm a bit sad. Tomorrow she's staying home from daycare and I'm going to cuddle with her as much as possible. We decided not to bring her to the airport, it will be to much for me. She's going to stay home with grandmama. Almost everything is packed, just some last things tomorrow...

So, Sweden here I come!!!

Whaaaaaa!!!!

I can't keep up! I'm trying to study, pack, socialize with my mother-in-law with boyfriend, cuddle with Lovisa as much as possible and of course answer numerous of e-mails about meetings etc regarding next weeks dissertation. I'm going INSANE! Now, the packing is really mission impossible. I put all the baby clothes in my suite case and it's more than half full without any of my stuff... I also wanted to bring the baby-nest (a small madras for the new born baby), the TENS machine (a little machine that gives you electrical shocks to ease labor pain) and the wheat pillow (you heat it up in the microwave and put on your sore back - very nice in the early stage of labor or after a long day...). OK, Hubert's going to have to ship a parcel with some stuff, there's no other way. 

On top of this Lovisa was up between 02:30-04:30 and refused to sleep in her own bed. Finally we all fell asleep, exhausted, in our bed, although I really tried my best not to give in... And, oh, she had her 18-months vaccination this morning. She was a real hero, didn't cry or nothing. My big girl: 86 cm tall and 14 kg heavy! Packing make you realize time goes fast... Look at these tiny baby clothes! No way Lovisa fitted in this!?

Size 50, the first outfit I bought Lovisa...

 An here is the picture proof, only a few hours old in daddy's arms in the little white out fit.

 And look at her now!

 My beautiful, big girl!

OK, have to keep on stressing! My mother-in-law has started project "clean the whole house", so I also feel a bit guilty being a very bad house wife on top of all my guilty conscience I already have, also all the cleaning products make me want to vomit... 2 days left in Montreal!