Feeling sad, bad and MAD!!!

Why can't she just sleep through the nights? Why does she have to make us consider to treat her with some "sleeping method"? It feels so unfair. And I feel like a bad mother that can't make her sleep better, but I really can't! I tried everything that I can possibly imaging: letting her sleep in my bed, standing by her crib holding a hand on her, tapping her bum, singing, crying with her, letting her scream, giving her the soother probably around 1000 times. Now we've reached some kind of limit and we're going to try a method. Or rather, we're going to take bits and peaces from a well known method and see if we can make her sleep better. This weekend we're starting and the first thing that is going to be a big challenge is taking away the soother. But the way things are now it's just a bloody trigger for her to wake up and then she throws it over the crib and screams until we come and give it back to her. Tonight she was awake for almost 3 hours, "playing" throwing the soother and waking up her family. Not the game I'd like to play 3 am in the morning... Finally we didn't give it back to her and she was furious. After 30 minutes of screaming she collapsed in her bed and fell asleep of pure exhaustion. And I was in Lovisas bed beside her crib sweating, fully awake, feeling like shit. We love you Andréa. More than anything. Just give us a little breathing hole so we don't go completely mental...