An update regarding our sleep (or lack of it)...

Tuesday evening before bedtime we suddenly decided to take Andréas soother away. Why wait for the weekend? She cried in anger and of course because she was tired. We checked on her every 5th minute and said "Go to sleep!" with a firm but not angry voice. After 15 minutes her whining and crying stopped and after 20 minutes she slept. During the night she woke up three times, and two of them she actually fell back to sleep on her own, we didn't even go in to see her. So the first night felt very good! Yesterday evening she fell asleep in 10 minutes (H told me, I was out running!). The night was worse but mostly because she pooped around 1:30 am, something she never normally do during the night, and of course that woke her up and disturbed her. Apart from that I think she woke up around three times and like the first night, two of them she fell back to sleep without help.

One of the benefits of this is that we had to limit Lovisa's soother time too, it's not fair she has the soother now and then and Andréa can't have it at all! So now Lovisa's only aloud to have it when she's going to bed. It's been a bit of a struggle, mostly with Lovisa. I'm really surprised that Andréa seems to be pretty satisfied without the soother and she's not whining much more than usual. I'm sure there are going to be times when we'll miss having the soother to put in her mouth but what a relief it is not to search for that stupid tiny thing in the middle of the night, or rush back home when we're on our way to daycare, only because I forgot it!

Anyway, it's to early to say if this method really is working but I'm feeling positive and I think after the weekend we might be able to say if there really is a difference or not. Keep your fingers crossed!

She's pretty happy without her soother...

About running together with 15 000 women...

With a sore throat (I had that for two bloody weeks now!) and to many sleepless nights behind me I defied the fact that I probably would be better off at home taking it easy and along with about 15 000 other women I ran "Vårruset". After we sat in the green grass and watched the sunset while eating a well earned picnic. 

 On my way in the metro...

 It was quite crowded...

Warming up together with 15 000 other women

It's easy to get excited and run for your life but I actually managed not to go completely crazy and tried to take it easy considering the mean virus that invaded my throat. 5 km in 33 minutes is a slow run and the first 5 minutes were so crowded the pace was almost walking pace. I just hope I wont get really sick now...

Feeling sad, bad and MAD!!!

Why can't she just sleep through the nights? Why does she have to make us consider to treat her with some "sleeping method"? It feels so unfair. And I feel like a bad mother that can't make her sleep better, but I really can't! I tried everything that I can possibly imaging: letting her sleep in my bed, standing by her crib holding a hand on her, tapping her bum, singing, crying with her, letting her scream, giving her the soother probably around 1000 times. Now we've reached some kind of limit and we're going to try a method. Or rather, we're going to take bits and peaces from a well known method and see if we can make her sleep better. This weekend we're starting and the first thing that is going to be a big challenge is taking away the soother. But the way things are now it's just a bloody trigger for her to wake up and then she throws it over the crib and screams until we come and give it back to her. Tonight she was awake for almost 3 hours, "playing" throwing the soother and waking up her family. Not the game I'd like to play 3 am in the morning... Finally we didn't give it back to her and she was furious. After 30 minutes of screaming she collapsed in her bed and fell asleep of pure exhaustion. And I was in Lovisas bed beside her crib sweating, fully awake, feeling like shit. We love you Andréa. More than anything. Just give us a little breathing hole so we don't go completely mental...

        

Tired girls.

After a fun and intense weekend filled with great weather, lots of food and wine, mosquito bites and fun we're a bit tired. It's so much fun to go away for the weekend but it was pretty damned good to come home to H and Andréa. I couldn't get enough of Andréa yesterday and once again it felt like she grew in two days... Yesterday was also mothers day in Sweden and I got some nice flowers and a card. H tried to write in Swedish, he's cute!

 Flowers and a card for the mother

 After 2 days apart it's nice to snuggle with your sister

 Lovisa this morning around 8 am...

Andréa this morning around 8 am, 

although she was awake between 04:30-07:30 the little monkey...

Wonderful vacation.

On our way...

Lovisa and me are on our way to my hometown. Leaving H, Andrea and the city for the countryside. Grass is green, sun is shining and life is good.

Grumpy Pippi.

Today is "The daycare day" which means that they celebrate the daycare and have a big party all day long. The children could dress up if they wanted to so yesterday I ran to the second hand store and found a Pippi wig and a Pippi dress. Lovisa loved it and didn't want to take them off yesterday evening. But this morning she was totally unwilling to put on the wig and it was a very grumpy Pippi that arrived to the daycare this morning... Hope she'll be in a better mood during the day...

The park!

What would we do without the park? We go there basically everyday and it's always the best time of the day. Fresh air, happy kids, sand, swings and joy. Here's a few highlights...

 The kids are spinning around in a giant apple...

This was a few weeks back before the real warmth came

 Happiness is when a girl much older than yourself takes a few minutes to play with you...

 Feeding the ducks on our way to the park...

Sand is nice, to eat and to play with...

 The tricycle - Gods gift to toddlers!

 New hat on the warmest day of the year so far (yesterday)

Also new sandals that are very funny to take off... All the time...

And now - off to the park!

Nature rules!

Did you know that the first official day of summer in Canada is the 21st of May? Once again nature defied winter for summer and once again it feels like a miracle. If it wasn't for my annoying cold I would cry out in pure joy! Isn't this the best time of the year after all?

Swedish rules...

It's with a bitter sweet deja vu that I once again share laundry room with the rest of the people in our building. A bunch of different people; strict or less strict are suppose to respect rules and each other, be in time and more important be done in time! On the wall in the laundry room there are 4 big signs with rules on how to behave and to clean - only in Sweden! For 3 hours I have to wash 6 machines and of course dry it all. After I have to clean up and I have to remember to remove the lint from the dryer! Or I'm banned forever from the laundry room and will be the black sheep in the neighbor hood.

"Here is a trash bag for you that doesn't have the energy to go to the big trash bag by the door with the lint from the dryer / The caretaker"

H just laughs and think it's ridiculous but I know better, it's deadly serious to follow theses rules. And to be honest I get really pissed off if I come to the laundry room and somebody is washing on my time or it's a bloody mess in there. But then again I'm Swedish...

Lovely long weekend and my freakin' throat.

Since Thursday was Ascension Day and H took yesterday off, we've had a lovely long weekend and it's only Saturday! Yesterday we packed our bags and went to visit my cousin and her family that lives on the countryside outside Stockholm.

 Taking the train is an adventure!

The ocean

 "Fika" on the beach...

 Lovisa's playing with her second cousin

 To come to another family's house and to see how nice and cozy they have made me miss our house in Montreal. Or maybe not so much our house but our things. I miss my coffee cups, my kitchen tools, my armchair and my bed! I miss that Lovisa doesn't have her own room to play and mess around in. Well, one day...

Today my throat hurts like hell and it sounds like I a drank a bottle of whiskey yesterday (which I didn't!) and I'm feeling a little bit like a pile of shit. But when the sun is shining and it's the warmest day of the year so far it's just to try to make the best of it...

 At a garden café nearby...

 Icecream is the best!

 And for mum and dad raspberry cheesecake with a glass of rosé meanwhile...

 The rascals where sleeping in the strollers!

Now I'm so tired I'm going to bed. 8:15 pm a Saturday evening. But I need to cure my throat and I want to finish the book I'm reading, it's getting exciting!

Ahh...

Something I missed when we lived in Montreal was Swedish "fika". So good, so nice and very necessary!

A taste of what shall come...

Yesterday I went to work to discuss my "come-back" in September and to attend a work shop. It's a bit surreal to go back to work after 3 years on maternity leave. Yes, you read right I didn't really work for 3 years. But it's not like I didn't do anything, I actually took a university course in cardiology, wrote my dissertation and took my PhD meanwhile taking care of Lovisa and being pregnant.

My diploma...

But still it feels like a totally different world, the working world, and soon I'm going to be apart of it again. The crazy life; leaving kids at daycare, rushing to work, doing my best there, rushing back to pick up the kids, fix supper, get the kids ready for bed, put them to sleep and then exhale and fall asleep in front of the TV on the couch... Phew...

"Terrible twos"...

We thought we knew all about the terrible twos. We didn't. But we do now. Lovisa is completely intransigent and defiant right now. Everything we tell her she refuses to do. Even if it's a fun thing like going to the park. Give her 5 minutes and she comes to us and wants to go to the park. Well, that's not that terrible. But when we're going to daycare and she throws herself on the floor screaming, kicking and spitting then it's terrible. I remember a few years back, before the children arrived, that I used to see these terrible toddlers in stores or outside, screaming, kicking and hitting and somehow I kind of closed my eyes and thought to myself that I would never be in the same situation. Thought that it's probably the parents that doesn't tech the children to behave or that they don't give them enough attention. Well, now I know better...

The other day we were leaving for daycare. As usual we were running late. Everything went wrong, Lovisa refused to eat her breakfast, she refused to brush her teeth, she was mean to Andréa, teasing her and hitting her, she was spitting on the floor, then she hit me and I just about had it with her. I already opened the door to go outside when I got the slap from her, whereas I stopped and gave her a lesson about hitting and behaving. I can honestly say I was so mad I don't really remember exactly what I said but I sounded very mad with my voice raised near screaming. Only to look up and there was my neighbor with her two little toddlers, waiting for the elevator. She's the quite type that hardly says hello and she gave me the look. You know, the "should-you-really-be-lecturing-your-toddler-in-that-terrible-way" kind of look. And I felt so stupid. I felt like somebody I don't know saw me naked and denuded. Now I was that mother that I, years ago, felt pity for but never thought I would become. A mother that's sweating, swearing and just had a bit of a beat up from a 2,5 year old stubborn toddler...

"Lovisa takes off her shoes and her jacket. 

When she's taken off all her clothes she carries them to her shelf"

Lovisa at daycare, a totally different little girl - 

happy and obedient...

Conversation with a toddler.

Lovisa and I sat in the armchair, cuddling, just before bedtime. She opened up my PJ and took a long look at my boobs.

Me: "that's mums breasts."
Lovisa: "yeah. Andréa eats from them."
Me: "Andréa used to eat from them when she was a baby. You used to eat from them to, when you were a baby. You sucked on them and out came milk!"
Lovisa did a very innocent attempt to suck on my boobs.
Me: "well, there's no more milk in there. The milk is finished."
Lovisa: "let's buy some more..."

Yasuragi and more chickenpox.

Home again after a short, well needed break from reality. The start was a bit shaky since H got stuck at work and didn't make it in time for the supper whereon I was pretty irritated, hungry and pissed off. But, after a nice supper, a good relaxing bath and a good nights sleep we're feeling great, once again Yasuragi rocks!

 I found "my" tree...

Hotel breakfast is just wonderful...

 Japanese breakfast...

 Swedish breakfast...

Canadian guy during breakfast...

We got home to two welcoming toddlers that missed us although they had a great time with my dad and his wife. Andréa's chickenpox is worse than ever and she didn't sleep very well (what a surprise!) so my dad was up in the middle of the night playing with her. Of course Andréa was very happy practicing running in the hall with him around 1 am (I never let her do that in the middle of the freakin' night...). My dad didn't seem to bothered about it "you can't be mad at her when she's so happy, cute and wants to play!"! 

My poor little chickenpox girl...

It's wiered how you miss them only after a few hours. How you wake up thinking about them. How you want to cuddle and hold them tight and never let go. Ahh, it's good to miss them a bit!

Finally...

Time to relax...

One mild and one severe.

I realize now that Lovisa had a very mild form of chickenpox. Andréa, on the other hand, has a more severe kind. The dots are getting bigger, angry red, filled with fluid and are slowly spreading out over her tiny body. On and off she has fever and it's itching like crazy. Poor little mouse!

And tomorrow H and me are going to Yasuragi and are leaving the girls in my dad's and his wife's capable hands. But it is with a slight feeling of guilt that we're going now that Andréa is sick... So bloody typical...