Worried

You know how worried you are about everything when you have your first child? Double that and you'll understand having two is bloody nerve wracking! I'm constantly worried over my children.

When it comes to Andréa I'm concerned about the breastfeeding. She chokes, moves, cries and seem to be struggling all the time. Since it's probably my last time breastfeeding I was looking forward to the cozy closeness that you only get from a beautiful breastfeeding moment. I don't know if it's her reflux or if it's stomach pains or if she's just not hungry or if it's a personality thing - maybe she's just the restless, fast type of eater (oh god please - no!).

When it comes to Lovisa, she's been, what we think, teething all weekend. Starting with a fever on saturday, being in agony, pain and been whining like crazy. She's drooling like a hungry dog all the time and constantly wants her pacifier (not strange her first whole sentence was "ou est la suce?" meaning "where's my pacifier?"). She refuses to eat. She cries and says it's hurting in her mouth. She's like a big baby, wanting to be cuddled and carried around. Oh, it worries me!

And then I'm worried about me being so bloody worried. It's annoying really, everyone tells me to enjoy this precious time and bla, bla, bla! And I really should take my postpartum vitamins. And eat a bit better. And start to exercise a bit (maybe around 5 am, after the night feeding before the morning feeding - what do you think?)... But most of all I'm worried about how I'm going to manage to take care of both babies at home ALL DAYS LONG, with my sanity still intact (or whatever is left of it), after we move to Dorval. It's practically impossible to keep her daycare place here in Montreal-West and it's not easy finding a new daycare in Dorval. It worries me that this bothers me so much because what kind of mother am I thinking I'll probably go completely mental taking care of my own kids?